Saturday, January 10, 2009


As I’m reinventing myself, one thing I need to work on is flexibility. I’m not talking about the yoga book I bought two years ago and never did anything with. Although, come to think of it, that’s something to consider too. Hmmm… Wonder where that book is?

But the kind of flexibility I meant to talk about is the mental and emotional kind. My stand has always been that I don’t mind change as long as it’s my idea. Otherwise, please do not bother me with it. Right. As if that’s going to happen. When I have a plan in mind, if something comes up to change it, sometimes I get very stressed. “Aack! No! That’s not how it’s supposed to be…”

This is why, years ago, I stopped making many plans. It seemed they were always changed by forces beyond my control, and I got very tired of the constant disappointment. Instead, I just floated along with whatever force of nature came my way, shoving me off the Shore of Indecision and down Igotnoclue Creek... I spent a very long time bobbing along on that creek, sometimes getting stuck in the weeds that grow along the edge, sometimes buoyed way up by the runoff from rains further upstream. None of it was my doing, and that was cool with me. It wasn’t my fault if things went badly, just as it wasn’t due to me if they went well. I just existed. I didn’t have a clue where the creek was leading--I guess that’s how it got its name--and told myself I didn’t care. My reasoning: I was being flexible and undemanding.

But recently, as I began to REINVENT myself, I looked at all this very differently. Bobbing along, occasionally bouncing off a rock, wasn’t good enough anymore. I decided I wanted to build a boat and head upstream. Because, hey, when the water gets deeper and more interesting down here, it’s because something is happening up there—and I wanted to be part of it.

So, as part of the reinvention, I’m building a boat. More of a raft really, but it shouldn’t leak much, and I’ve got a longish pole to push myself along. I’m planning to eventually have a darling little houseboat, but it will probably be a while. (I’ll leave it to you to ponder what those items are analogous to. I got up too early this morning, so quite possibly they aren’t analogous to anything.)

I’ve decided I can be flexible, but still make plans. Have goals. Work at something of value, instead of just work. That's what has me paddling so vigorously these days.



  1. I so understand the floating along concept. I was right there with you. Which is why I am where I am-my raft is not pretty and I think there is a small leak in the back corner, however, it is my raft and I am NOW the captain of my own destiny. I expect pirates and storms along the way, but I am prepared. My map is a bit vague, so the trip will have some detours. Won't those add some excitement :)

    I can't wait to hear about your travels. Perhaps we will meet up around the bend.

  2. Ahoy, Garden Girl!

    Sounds like you are extremely well prepared. I'm guessing that you'll have that small leak patched in no time!

  3. I think flying by the seat of your pants has some merit, especially for us creative types, but I think it has to be carefully balanced with organization and planning. I liked your analogy of just floating along versus building a boat! Very visual!

    Great post!

  4. Thanks, Amy. I'm glad you like my boat analogy.