Friday, April 15, 2011
Just when I think everything is under control, life proves me wrong.
I think that may be a lesson I will eventually learn through the process of my husband's illness. I have created routines and processes so day to day life can be as smooth as possible. But when I become complacent, something comes along to wipe the smug grin off my face...
And the self-doubts and worries take over. Why do I think I can keep all these "balls in the air?" How long can my husband continue to do some things for himself? What will happen if he loses his desire to sing--the one thing about him that is still him? What will we do if he needs long-term care that we cannot provide at home? How do we pay for that? The furnace sounds funny. It's really old--wonder if it is getting ready to quit. Cooling season is almost upon us, and one of the window units needs to be replaced. Several big bills are queued up for my attention. I have a mountain of stuff to sort through and decide whether to sell, keep, give away.
POOR ME with so much to worry about!
Which is why I needed to read the Greenimalist blog today. Aaron said exactly what I needed to hear. I am trying to remember gratitude.