Monday, May 23, 2011

When is it too much?


I am currently reading Gary Zukav's Soul Stories, and finding it inspirational and humbling. I have some baggage to get rid of, and am working on that. Emotional baggage is heavy stuff in more ways than one, and this is a great time to leave it at the edge of the road.

Also, as I mentioned a few days ago, I'm reading Inner Simplicity, by Elaine St. James. One of the things mentioned in both of these books, and in the sermon I heard at church yesterday: The concept of Enough.

Do I have enough? Yes. We live simply, but so far we're okay. For my own future, whenever that happens, I'm working toward being able to walk away empty-handed if necessary, but I've not quite wrapped my mind around it. Closer, but not there yet.

I didn't realize that Friday, my husband was the one who had TOO MUCH. Too much mental stimulation. Too many things going on, too many people coming and going, things happening, etc.

We took him to a local festival. He enjoyed eating, and seemed to enjoy seeing people, but he soon became demanding and short-tempered. And most of Saturday he was terribly confused and upset. He cried about it several times. A friend pointed out to me that Friday's festival might have been the cause. Well, duh. Of course it was. He paid dearly on Saturday for our intention to entertain him on Friday. It was definitely not worth it.

Today someone mentioned an upcoming event, and suggested I not take my husband to it, because it would likely just confuse him. She understands his situation so well, and I'll be following her advice.

I get him out almost every day, sometimes more than once. It isn't as if we stay in the house all the time. He enjoys seeing people, and tries hard to be his normal chatty self. But I need to keep in mind that there is Enough, and then there is Too Much.

Magdalena

Monday, May 16, 2011

Re-frame

Today I received a less than glowing review for The Holly and the Ivy She gave it 3.5 out of 5, and that hurt. I've always been a people pleaser--not a healthy personality component, but there you are.

I was so glad the reviewer liked the writing, and the setting, and the characters. But she was hoping for a passionate love scene, and was disappointed that, instead, it was a sweet romance. She also felt the ending was abrupt.

My thought process went something like this:
1) My story is great. She doesn't know what she's talking about.
2) My story stinks. I'll never write another.
3) I can see what she means about the gymnasium scene. I could have ended it differently.
4) I was lucky to complete that story at all, considering the state of our life, and my husband's condition, at the time I was working on it.


I took me less than ten minutes to get from point 1 to point 4. I'm getting quicker at re-framing; have done a lot of it in the last year and a half, mostly about real life instead of a book review. I think if you can re-frame "My husband is dying of a cancerous brain tumor and the person I've been married for 28 years is being slowly destroyed" to "My husband has cancer, but thank goodness he has forgotten that, and although he is tired, he is not in pain," then you are starting to get the hang of re-framing. We do it a lot at our house.

If you would like to read the review in its entirety, click on this link.

Note to the world: Most of my books are sweet romance. I do not want to mislead anyone into buying something of mine with the expectation of a passionate love scene. The closest I've gotten to that so far is in Midnight in Legend, TN, and it's not very close at all. I'm not saying I won't write one, but I haven't. Fair enough?

Magdalena

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

On stuff

I really love having a dishwasher. So very handy. But I can live without it, as I have done for most of my life. Today, mid-cycle, my formerly terrific machine stopped working. It is an aggravation, but even more, a reminder to me that:

1) Everything that comes into this house has original cost, upkeep and maintenance cost, and space cost; and

2) I need to declutter the cabinet in which I store dishes, glasses, and mugs.

I bet there are lots of people who actually need dishes. There is no good reason for me to hold onto these things for the sake of convenience (doing dishes less frequently).

I'm sure The Progeny won't mind washing his plate/cup/bowl/glass after each use.

Right?

Mags

Monday, May 2, 2011


Behold. An "oldie but goodie" from Rosamunde Pilcher... Snow in April.  Delicious setting, wonderful characters, such a nice wrap-up at the end. Lovely.

It was perfect to finish reading this a couple of days ago, while I rode alone in the back seat of a car driven by The Progeny. Perfect for him because I kept quiet, perfect for me because I remained [mostly] calm. 

I think of Ms. Pilcher as one of the big names in quality women's fiction. Who are your favorite authors in this genre?

Magdalena