Monday, June 2, 2014

Music narrates my life

I promise, there is a happy ending to this blog. Just hang in...

I am fortunate to have always had music in my life. Many members of my family are extremely talented musically, though only a couple of them chose it as a profession. Music is so evocative, and even now there are many songs I can't listen to without crying--and you can forget me trying to sing them. How Great Thou Art will always bring memories of the many times my husband sang it for funerals. It's also the last song we sang at the memorial event for him. Amazing Grace is another I'll never sing. My husband and his cousin harmonized on it together, her beautiful soprano and his deep bass, as he lay in his bed just a couple of days before his death.

When I started dating, I was concerned that my brokenness would make a new relationship impossible. I asked a counselor about it, and she told me that dating while grieving is sometimes a very positive thing. I must say it takes a strong man to date a widow, and I occasionally feel sorry for This Guy.

(Yes--unless I think of a better name for him, I'm going to refer to him as This Guy.)

Fortunately for me, This Guy sang in with us in the church choir, sang in a quartet with my husband and my son and another friend for several years, including the time my husband was afflicted with his brain tumor. This Guy often anticipates which songs will bring me to tears.

At The Progeny and Progenette's recent wedding, my son and I danced together. I am no dancer and was nervous about trying, but my son promised the song was short and we would get through it just fine. He chose In My Life, performed by The Beatles.

This past weekend, This Guy and I walked the Big Four Bridge, a reclaimed railroad bridge that is now a walking and biking connection over the Ohio River. In one section of the bridge, music plays from speakers overhead. I don't know what song was playing as we walked from Indiana to Kentucky, but on the return trip, it was In My Life. We both recognized it from the kids' wedding, and spontaneously started to dance together. Right there, on the Big Four Bridge, and just for a minute... I noticed people smiling at us when we stopped.

Music can be sad and happy at the same time, can't it? Just like life. I'm so grateful to have This Guy who understands me and helps me hear the happy lyrics again.


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